From Pursuing Peace: A Christian Guide to Handling Our Conflicts by Robert D. Jones
What does a good confession look like? How do we offer an apology that reflects the depth of our sin and demonstrates to the other person both our remorse and our desire to receive forgiveness?
The Seven A's of Confession:
1. Address everyone involved. The circle of confession must be as big as the circle of offense.
2. Avoid if, but, and maybe. "I'm sorry if I hurt you" really says: "I don't know how I hurt you, and I really don't care to know." Take full responsibility for your own sin.
3. Admit specifically. A specific confession shows thoughtfulness and sincerity.
4. Acknowledge the hurt. Express sorrow for the way your sin has made life hard for the other person.
5. Accept consequences. True repentance may require the repentant one to suffer the just consequences of their wrong choices.
6. Alter your behavior. Make specific plans for how you will act differently going forward.
7. Ask for forgiveness. This is different from saying "I'm sorry." Actually ask: "Will you forgive me?"
While we cannot control the other person's response, we can wisely frame our words in ways that please God and truly love our neighbor.
