This is a story of God's restoration of a marriage.
Come, let's return to the Lord. For he has torn us, and he will heal us; he has wounded us, and he will bind up our wounds. After two days he will revive us; on the third day he will raise us up, that we may live before him. — Hosea 6:1-2
I wasn't super familiar with the book of Hosea until after I had gone through every married person's nightmare.
I always knew these three things, without a doubt: God is good, the Bible is perfect, and Jesus is King of kings. But I didn't really understand how loving and just and merciful He truly is until He radically rebuilt and refined my marriage.
Meeting Steven
I met Steven at church. He was a drummer on the worship team, and I was leading worship. We became friends, shared ministry, and life, and a love for the same Jesus. About nine months later, in 2009, we were married.
The Distance Grows
After we got married, I realized he wasn't the open book he had been before. I chalked it up to him being an introvert who needed space. But over time, I felt him growing even more distant. By 2012, I was pregnant with our first child.
I had a constant, literal ache deep inside my stomach. Something was wrong, but I couldn't put my finger on it. I felt so isolated with no community. We had moved to a new city for Steven's job, and I was working from home while pregnant. The loneliness was overwhelming.
Years of Struggle
For nearly seven years, I lived with this nagging feeling that something wasn't right. Steven was physically present but emotionally absent. We went through the motions of marriage—attending church, raising our children, going to work—but the intimacy was gone.
I prayed. I begged God for answers. I asked Steven repeatedly if something was wrong. He always said everything was fine.
The Pivotal Day
Sunday, March 10th, 2019. This is the day everything changed. This is the day Randy Fuller brought fire from the pulpit: "This is not a game. Stop playing games. Stop playing around with sin. STOP! PULL THAT SIN INTO THE LIGHT AND PUT A BULLET IN IT!"
These were the exact words the Holy Spirit used to convict my broken husband to confession and repentance of sin committed nearly seven years before.
After the service, Steven asked if we could talk. With tears streaming down his face, he confessed to an affair that had happened shortly after we got married. He had been carrying this secret for almost seven years.
Immediate Forgiveness
In that moment, something miraculous happened. I felt a burning conviction to tell him right then that I forgave him. I did forgive him. Had it been anything but the Holy Spirit working in me, I would have told him to leave in a very unholy way. But God's grace was overwhelming.
The Road to Reconciliation
With forgiveness given and both parties willing to walk through reconciliation, Christ brutally crushed the schemes of the enemy that day.
The next months were the hardest and most beautiful of our marriage. We sought counseling. We rebuilt trust one day at a time. Steven became a different man—open, vulnerable, present. The wall that had stood between us for seven years came crashing down.
On The Other Side of Waiting
I can look back now, on the other side of waiting, and see His work so masterfully, strategically, and perfectly done. God used those seven years of struggle to prepare my heart for this moment. He used the pain to deepen my dependence on Him. He used the isolation to teach me that He alone is my refuge.
Today, our marriage is stronger than it has ever been. We share everything. We pray together. We serve together. We parent together with unified hearts.
If you're in a season of waiting, if something feels wrong in your marriage but you can't name it, I want to encourage you: God sees you. He knows. And in His perfect timing, He will bring truth to light.
Come, let's return to the Lord. For he has torn us, and he will heal us.
